the same old song and dance

Hidi ho folks! Long time, no blog. Well, without further ado let’s get you caught up on current Corbett events.

First, we’ll start with the youngest: Mac

The local priesthood still has not determined exactly which demonic neither realm currently possesses her. The biggest difficulty that they face is finding which particular demon that can boil holy water, torture animals and siblings with glee while looking cute as a button. So far they have narrowed the list down to: Mammon, Mephistopheles, Lilith, and of course Satan. We’ll let you know more once the exorcisms are over.

However, when she is not acting possessed, Mac is busy getting ready for her first year as a kindergartner. Please pray for her teachers. Also she’s keeping herself quite busy in her continuing effort to become the next big thing from Disney. This includes singing, acting, being annoying, and looking cute. (As if anyone needed any more proof that she’s evil!) Even her sister Haley is helping her with this. Like last week Haley helped her with her dancing skills by blindfolding her and playing something called ‘dodge traffic’. Whatever that is.

And speaking of Haley:

Miss Haley is still her same old self. Loves horses, Disney movies, and praying. “Dear lord, please make me an only child…” She’s pretty much your average, ordinary 11 year old girl. Who just happens to be taller than the teachers at her school. She’s been keeping herself busy lately trying to get AR reading points for the 5th grade. However, I have to keep telling her that there are no reading points for the label of a bottle of ketchup.

Also she is working on her acting skills. (At least I think she is. Let me tell you, no one can do drama like her) However, I personally think that she is working on her fratricide skills. “Yes brother dear…. All the sodas that you can drink are right down there, down in that deep, dark room. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure the door doesn’t close on you.”

- Don’t worry, the boys have similar plans for her. Like Jeremiah last week: “Yeah Haley, there’s this horse thing for you, right outside of the house. Yeah it’s right by that square pile of leaves that is not covering up any type of death-trap whatsoever. So just stand over there for a moment… ”

And speaking of Jeremiah:

Mr Jeremiah has been keeping himself quite occupied as well. He is getting himself prepared for High School next year, taking on a full course load of honors and advanced classes. Not only is he the shortest, but it seems he’s the smartest as well. And the fact that he doesn’t look like the rest of them….uhh, Reet is there something you might want to tell me?? Anyhow, He has been keeping himself busy with tests, studying, and trying to beat Mackenzie at being the prettiest. (Mac’s hair is still longer and prettier)

So once Mr Jeremiah goes into high school next year he will be taking all advanced courses and probably not even have time to do his hair anymore. But on the bright side, all of this hard work will prepare him for his future career, being Nate’s high school teacher.


And Speaking of Nate:

The proclaimed ‘master of self-disaster’ is alive and well. After going through several surgeries and 7 casts, he still has 2 months to go with the leg. Watcha gonna do? This weeks cast has an LSU theme to it. Despite all of trouble that he’s had with his leg, he still insists that this is the best school year ever. “Really dad, I mean how else could I take a whole month off from school legally and get sympathy to boot?? Hell, I should have done this sooner!!” Yeah, poor, poor Nate. More surprisingly is the fact that he is actually passing all of his classes. “Mr Corbett, the only thing of Nate’s that I could grade was when he signed in at the beginning of the year. He’s been out since.”

Other than his leg, Nate has been pretty much the same old same. Face super glued to either the TV or Playstation. Big blank expressionless stare out into the void. yup that's our Nate. Hopefully, he will be out of his cast and outside by mid April. if not, we'll cut the cast off ourselves and take things from there. Considering how much food he's been eating Reet's been running around like a lunatic buying groceries by the truckload.


Oh, and speaking of Reet:

That loving, dear woman of mine is still hyperventilating from Superbowl 43 "Go Steelers!! In your face world!! in your face!" Unfortunately for poor Jeremiah, who did not use his brains when he walked by her going; "go Cards!" I tell ya, that has got to be the stupidest smart kid in the world. Anywho, Reet has been up to her normal stuff, working 170 hour weeks, trying to get dinner ready and putting up with the 'little darlings'. but if you ask her, that's nothing compared to putting up with me...

And speaking of me:
Uhmm, actually there isn't much to say. the only new news that i've got is that I've completed my book. (actually, I did that about a month ago.) Also I quit smoking (new work policy. those damn Nazies.) so I guess that's a good thing. hmm, reading this over, it's a pretty boring post. Hmm we need to spice it up some... (maybe I'l have Haley kidnapped by aliens for an intergalactic farting competition. Or something like that.

Anyhow.. That's it for this update. I'll post something better when it comes up. if anyone's interested in the book, (Hey! you never know when you might get so bored that you only have a choice between slitting your wrists or reading a really awful book) anyhow, here's the link: Click here to get the book that will burn a permanent scar in your mind. Notice: I did warn you. so don't sue me once the mental damage had been done.

P.P.S: anyone know a good editor??

touch of (in) famous.

This is just an initial post, I'll make it more detailed later. However for now, here is a video of the girls running into Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus (you know, that Hanna Montana chick)
Anyhow, the Corbett's made the news with the story. Here is the link to the story and there is a video on there as well
http://www.newschannel5.com/Global/story.asp?S=9574233

Look for the tall, dorky guy in a gray sweater, the girls are next to him. As for Reet and the boys, she's in a white coat, and Jere's in the red,white and blue jersey hitting Nate in the purple sweatshirt. (it's all within the first minute of the video. if you go past there, you missed us)

Here's the video I took.

CDC update! -Corbett Holiday style

Message announcement from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
- December 15 2008, A Mr Nathaniel Corbett was finally released from the hospital after a week-long vacation thanks to a Staph related infection. It appears that Mr Corbett had received the infection during his previous surgery, and by the time he was brought back to the hospital, the infection had eaten most of the bone interior. So a couple surgeries to save his leg later, the doctors announced that they are confident that the infection is under control and should be completely gone. He is currently resting at home, griping about how bored he is and "can I go outside and play football just a little bit?"

Even though the thigh-high cast and other medical devices that are attached to his leg, he believes that he should be able to tackle just like he used to. We are going to take him back to the doctors and see if any of the infection had seeped into his brain. This may provide a reason for why he acts the way he does. Otherwise, doctors predict a full recovery by late spring.

In other news, to compensate for the lack of attention that he's been receiving, Jeremiah has decided to hacksaw his leg off at just above the knee in an effort to "one up" his brother.

Older sister Haley, has been learning all about economics in school over the past couple of months. Highly influenced by these lessons, Haley has embarked on a goal of having her grade point average match the DOW Jones.

And finally, we have cute, adorable, 5 year old Mackenzie. who is still evil. {'nuff said}

And for every out there here is a little present of the little "darlings" (click on image for full size)


More blogging after the Holidays. Happy Hannakah everyone!

Halloween '08 Corbett style

Well, well. It's been one whole year since my last Halloween post and as you can see, not too much has changed since then. True, my gas bill is higher, my grocery bill has grown as well. And of course, I'm on a first-name basis with the local Children's hospital Ortho staff. So some things have changed since then, but not too much. Anyhow, With Halloween fast approaching, we began our decorating of the family domicile. Here's a night-time view of it. (Ok, I admit, the camera work stinks. just bear with me,)




And of course our Little ghosts and goblins, were getting dressed to the hilt. Except Mr. Nate of course. He had his costume perfected earlier. That of a "I really didn't break my leg in a macho sport, actually it was rather just me walking around and Opps!, it happened kinda thing" costume.

While we were waiting for the holiday to arrive, we were very pleased to find out that the other far off members of the Corbett Clan were going to come over for a visit and have a good hardy laugh at my suffering at the hands of my offspring. I guess this is one of the ways that Grandma and Grandpa Klein get their kicks in, watching payback in action.

(In defense, I would like to say that I truly do not believe that I was that bad of a child. I mean I can see me deserving one mother's curse 'I hope you have children just like...'. Yeah, I guess I sorta did something or another to deserve that. But how the heck did I end up with everyone else s curse as well?? I mean really! Not only do I get to suffer my curse, but Chris's curse, Reet's curse, Reet's sister's curse, Joe the Plumber's curse... I mean c'mon give me a break here folks!!")

Anyway, I digress. So the old folks came up to the Corbett estate, to spend some time with the 'precious darlings' as Grandma calls them. (I wonder if she is being facetious?) So here we have Mac's first victims of the season. After spending several hours of interrogating the old folks for the whereabouts of her gifts, or candy or anything that popped into her mind, Mackenzie became utterly delighted to see the arrival of fresh meat.

"Unka Cwiff!! Unka Cwiff!" she shrieked with joy as he unwarily pulled up in the driveway, oblivious to the impending doom that awaited inside. As you can see, he didn't have a clue as to what the weekend would have in store for him.

Of course Grandma welcomed the relief, so in between cooking large, extravagant meals for us, (what? you thought we wanted her to visit just for her personality?) she took some personal down-time and enjoyed several hours of "Atlantis", what ever that is. All we know is that some of the kids were getting nervous. "Dad, I think somethings wrong with grandma... She keeps screaming that she can't get to Carthage, where ever that is. It's really beginning to upset the dog."

So, while Grandma went off to find the lost something of someone, Grandpap "chilled" out and enjoyed some quality time with the ones he loves, namely Mississippi and the Golf Channel. However, he did seem to be thoroughly enjoying himself by making constant comparisons between Nate and I. He kept mumbling something about apples falling from trees into dumpsters, or something like that.

Later in the weekend we feasted out on Grandma's cooking and sat back and watched a whole new form of entertainment. We like to call it: "Can Unka Chris Escape the Demon Child?" and as you can see, he really sucked at that game. just look at the utter bliss on his face, knowing that his cute, little niece just loves him sooo much, and; "We'll be da best of friends, and we'll color Barbie books together, and we'll play with my dolls together, and... Unka Cwif! are you listening!?" By the time she got to the point that she thought it would be a great idea if she moved in with him and 'aunt Julie', 'unka cwiff' took the better part of valor and ran for the hills.

Ahh, but don't worry Chris, our little horseman of the apocolypse is out there even now, looking for you.

"You can't escape me Unka Cwiff!!"

All in all, a very enjoyable Halloween. Once the old folks headed back home, we got ready for the annual invasion of trick-or-treaters. I was not allowed to hand out the candy this year. {Sniff} Reet said that people just wouldn't get the 'sexual predator costume' thing. So I ending up just taking Mac around the neighborhood and watch her enjoying herself as she beat up people for candy. (She really does enjoy herself.) As for the other kids, they are "too old and sofisticated" to be trick or treating with us. So we agreed that they were growing up and not to worry about it. and since they are so "mature" now, we have decided to charge $650.00 a month from each for room and board.

-needless to say, they changed their minds and decided to come along with us.


Anyhow, Here's a nice little bit of horror to celebrate Halloween with. Nate getting his leg operated on. Enjoy!

Taking a break...

Well, normally taking a break would be good thing, but as usual, we never do anything normal at the Corbett estate.

Story so far, life as usual *as can be. continues on at our humble adobe. Mac is busy making further plans for world domination, she keeps mumbling stuff about Poland. Anyhow, Haley is practicing her acceptance speech to the academy award for best dramatic performance while being tormented by her brothers. While the girls are busy with whatever it is that they are doing, Me and Reet are busy doing some basic housework, while Nate and Jere are outside playing. Well to make a long story short; when Nate asked if he could go outside and play with his friends, I said, "Sure, break a leg."

Nate, that just was a figure of speech!! Damn it!

Well Nate ended up breaking his leg in multiple places. Now how, do you ask, did Nate do this? Did he do it during this football play? (Nate and Jere's are in blue). Nope.

Was he surrounded by 15 Texas ninjas armed to the teeth, telling him that if he supported Obama they'd break his legs and send him to Alaska? Naa.



Nate received this injury playing one of the most extremely dangerous sports known to man: Frisbee. Or as he calls it "Ultimate Frisbee!!" which is the same as plain frisbee, but with the word "ultimate" in front of it to sound cool for the chicks.

Here we have the lovely Shannon Elizabeth
reenacting Nathan's accident.


So after rushing Mr Nate to the ER and having 12 medical Phd's looking at his X-rays and giving us that in their professional opinion: "Wooo wee! That had to hurt! Damn, that really looks broke to me!"

Needless to say, Nate ended up with a titanium plate with several screws running through the leg. And also an official notice that the football season is officially over for him. That leaves Jere alone on the defensive line to handle the nice 250lbs linemen.

-He'll be fine. If not, him and Nate might get matching casts! Cool eh?

Anyhow, Now that he's finally out of the hospital and safely home, I'm going to get some shut-eye.

hmmm, I wonder if I should tell him about the bag of marbles i left on the steps? naa, Maybe tomorrow.

Lazy, crazy days of Summer

Ahh those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer have finally come and gone. The days of sun, fun and goofing off were welcomed by most of the members of the Corbett clan (the kids), while the mounting grocery bills, air conditioning bills, and trashing of the house were reviled by the rest (the parents). So as the school buses arrive to pick up the last of our happy children. We smile as they are forcefully dragged inside the bus, clawing and holding on to anything that would prevent their return to school. The screams of, “It’s not fair! Summer can’t be over yet! I’m too young for the 5^th grade!!”, brings a tear to our eye.

While the house is now finally quiet and some semblance of order returns to the clan house, let us reflect on the fun and good times that the summer season had brought.

Being prepared. Well as the summer started off, everyone wanted to make sure that they had all of the essential items needed for survival of the summer. Here we can see that Nate had stockpiled his supplies that would get him through those harsh, hot days. He figured that 20 gallons of Monster ™ drink should see him though just nicely.

Unfortunately, three hours later Nate had completely drained all of his provisions. On the bonus side, he made into the Guinness book of world’s records by having the world’s fastest heart rate of 1,400 while standing still. This smashes the previous record held by the Amazonian humming bird whose natural heart rate is 800. Once we peeled Nate off the ceiling, we decided that a wonderful picnic out by the lake would hit the spot.

Lake time. Here in Nashville, they have a wonderful man-made lake called Percy Priest lake. (Why it’s called that is anyone’s guess. Perhaps a priest named Percy was drowned there?) Anyhow, after packing up some food and bathing suits, we hopped into the van and drove up to the lake. The ride was pleasant enough considering all of the extra room we had since Nate decided to run the 40 mile instead of ride along with us. (Man, those Monsters are really something.) Here we are kicking back and relaxing. Nate wanted to go fishing, which in itself was surprising, but the fact that he wanted to catch fish by swimming after them, disturbed us greatly. (That does it, no more Monsters for that kid.)

Here we see Nate fishing in a more traditional manner. However, some of the effects of the caffeine are still apparent Note: he’s standing in 50’ of water. But still too hyped up to sink. After grueling hours of fishing Nate’s patience was finally rewarded. Here you can see the turtle that was caught. The look of excitement on his face pretty much says it all. (Dad, fishing sucks!)

While Nate kept himself busy fishing, Jeremiah and Rita decided to explore the wonders of one of the many islands the lake possessed. Here we see Jeremiah and Rita taking a relaxing walk through a nature tail. Looking at all of nature’s wonder, one can learn so much. For example, Jeremiah learned to never again wipe himself with poison sumac leaves.

Next we see Jeremiah arrive on the beach just in time to see the last boat of the day leaving for the mainland. (Bye Jere! We’ll come back for you! We promise! No, really we

will! We mean it this time!)

While the boys were having their fun, the girls sat back and enjoyed the sun. After several restraining orders were issued to the girls by the parents of some of the boys, The girls decided it was time to eat. Chasing boys takes up tons of energy! Here we have the lovely Rita mistress of the BBQ grill working up some culinary delights. Yup the best pork –n- beans that money could buy. Well as we all sat down and thoroughly enjoyed the meal, we began to wonder why it was so peaceful. Only the far off echo of a boys cry from some far away island that reminded us. Ahh yes, it was going to be a peaceful dinner indeed. We think Nate ate dinner with us. It was hard to tell if that particular blur was him or not, but the fact that he mentioned something about seeing if he could climb every tree in the forest made us think that it might be him.(Really, that boy has to lay off the caffeine.)

Beech Bend: Later in the season we traveled up to Kentucky to the world famous Beech Bend park. Ok, it’s not really world famous. Actually, I don’t think that it’s even Kentucky famous. Anyhow, We felt that it would be fun to have a day of rides, junk food, and swimming. Note, when I say ‘we’ I really mean ‘the kids’. The adults would not have minded a day of just sitting down and doing something called ‘breathing’. A quaint little park out in the middle of nowhere, Beech Bend has your basic needs for an amusement park; mary-go-rounds, spinning rides, vomit bags, overpriced soda and roller coasters. Here we see our lovely Rita enjoying a peaceful ride with Jeremiah and Haley on the Kentucky Rumbler. News reports stated that 200 miles away, People complained of a noise that sounded vaguely like a 30-something woman screaming, “You ungrateful little brats! I’ll kill you if we survive!”

Mackenzie had fun as well. Here we can see her in what looks like her petting a horse. In actuality, she was demanding that the pony follow her every command or suffer the fate of “ a quick trip to the Elmer’s glue factory”. –Darling little child. (Don’t worry folks. The horse physiatrist says the pony will make a full recovery.)

After being forcefully removed from the petting zoo for issuing threats, Mackenzie sulked for a while until she found a vent for her frustration. Unfortunately, I had been ‘volunteered’ for the position of assistant. What follows next is one of the scariest photos ever taken in the history of the world. Yes, that is correct. Mackenzie behind the wheel of a vehicle. Even though the car was firmly attached to a track and none of the pedals works, she somehow managed to divert the vehicle off-track and mow down 20 people while joyfully screaming “20 points! MuhAhaHa! 30 points for the old lady!!”

Meanwhile, Haley was having the time of her life as well. Riding rides, eating junk food, and even won a “Drama queen” competition. However her fun came to a sudden end when unbeknownst to Haley, Jeremiah covered her bathing suit with rubber cement. She didn’t notice it until it was too late as she was already halfway down the water slide. It took paramedics 2 ½ hours to remove the suit from her tush. (Again, don’t worry. She’ll be fine)

Anyhow, after all was said and done, we thanked God that summer had finally came to a close and our precious little bundles of joy were back where they belonged: behind a desk sleeping the class away with drool coming down their faces. Speaking of sleeping, an interesting note was that on the way back from the lake while Nathan was running along side the car, he suddenly passed out and had slept for 3 days straight. When we were notified by the local highway patrol that we had a passed out son on the highway, they told us that we really needed to pick him up, since he had been there for a day and a half already. They also mentioned that he kept muttering something about needing more ‘Monsters’ .

I leave you with a final token of our summer. Please enjoy this video of Reet enjoying the 'Kentucky Rumbler'

So I wanna be famous...

Ok, I guess it's everyone's dream (unless you are in a witness protection program) to become famous. Right? Well there i was looking around the internet and I saw this interesting site that promotes casting for T.V. shows based on a voting structure. In other words, those who get clicked on the most, get to star in a show. Anyhow, This is for a discovery channel show and they are looking for a host. Now I know what you're thinking: who else would be better to host a t.v. show than me??

-I agree. So with your help, I might get that chance to show the whole world... Me.
And then be afraid, be VERY afraid.

If you want to go ahead and vote for me, click here. http://www.gotcast.com/jcorbett

Together, we can show the world Real entertainment.

Note: I just realized that in order to vote, you would have to create an account. Yeah, it's free and all, but it's still a hassle. So don't worry too much about it. I'll show the world some other way. Maybe I'll release the "darling" children upon them... [[MUHahHAhHAha]]

UPDATE: I lost. go figure. Well I didn't do tooo bad though. I came in at #72 out of 1,500
but maybe I'll try again some other day.