Here we can see the lovely Reet in her natural environment, Home Depot. Ahh, one can only imagine what wonderful ideas are flowing through her mind as she looks lovingly at the home appliance and hardwood floor sections.
After spending some time with the local tribesman of Home Depot "we" came up with some great ideas for fixing up the house.
*note: this is the same "we" that decided that "I" should go up on the roof to hang Christmas lights.
The main thing that needed done was to paint all of the kids' rooms. (Joy!!) We figured that we would start with the youngest first, Mackenzie. Mainly because she would be the most likely to change her mind while we work, so if we knock her room out first, then she would have to wait till later
to complain.However, after several trips with us to the "wonderful world of Home Depot" it became clear that she would start her complaints early. Eventually, we procured all of the needed items and went directly to work. Well actually we did have to make one last stop before starting. So one bottle of Jack Daniels later We laid out our stuff and began. Actually, I began complaining and Reet began changing her mind on some of the stuff. So needless to say, the project would have to start some time later.
After a few days of blood sweat and tear
s. (mainly tears) we were done with Mac's room. As you can see, Mac took no time in pointing out some "issues" that she saw with her room. "Daddy, Cinderella looks like a bimbo! Where did you learn to paint, Romper Room? You call this art?"
-Wonderful little girl.Well, that was one kid down, three to go...
Next up was Nathan. As usual, he placed much time and consideration on how he wanted his room to look. "Uh... I dunno. Whatever works for me. Just as long as it's cool." So once we deciphered what the teenager really meant we came to the conclusion that he wanted "something" and that in all honesty he had no idea what he wanted. So Reet came up with a LSU theme for his room. With of course me to execute it. Needless to say, the blood sweat and tears began in earnest once more. Believe it or not, the hardest part actually was evicting a pair of socks that had lived under his bed for a couple of years. But once the ham and cheese sandwich with the green hair talked to them, we came to a mutual understanding. (they now pay rent.) Eventually, after several days and thousands of coats of paint, the finished product came out nicely. (at least that's a parent's opinion, not a teenager's)
Two down, two to go...
By this time Reet had gathered up enough time at Home Depot that she had not only been given frequent flyer miles by the company, and a letter of appreciation from the CEO, but the workers had begun to reserve her her favorite shopping cart, and knew her on a first name basis. (Thoughts of Norm from 'Cheers' comes to mind)
Next up was Jeremiah. From the get go I knew this room would be one tough nut to crack. Mainly this was because I knew the occupant was a nut to begin with. Getting a layout for what he wanted felt close to getting teeth extracted with a spoon. "Oh! I want my room to look like this!" followed several minutes later with: "Oh, wait! Not that! I want the walls and ceiling covered in black with fiber-optic cables simulating the entire northern sky! and then have all of my Star-wars legos suspended above recreating the famous battle from 'Return of the Jedi'. Oh! also could you have the legos hooked up with lights and sound as well? Cool, thanks dad!" By this time I had decided to exercise the better part of valor and high tail it out of there for good.
However, Reet was one step ahead of me and posted guards out in the back yard towards the woods. "Mommy! daddy's trying to escape again!!"I would have gotten away free too if it wasn’t for that meddling kid! Ever since that little stinker got her motorcycle, she’s been acting like Ponch from C.H.I.P.S. (minus the bugs on the teeth)
Well after being dragged back kicking and screaming, I started to work on his final design. “I want it to have the 
Once done, my initial thought was: “Hmm, this looks like a necktie. A very ugly necktie.” But considering that it’s his room and not mine and that it didn’t require installing fiber-optic lighting and surround-sound, it would do.
Finally, I was down to the last of the Mohicans, Haley. I figured her room would probably be the one that hurt the most. And again, I was proven right. The conversation between us and her went something as follows:
“So, what do you want your room to look like?”
“Huh?”
“How do you want us to paint your room?”
“Oh! I would like it painted with colors…”
“Ok, we figured out that part. Anything specific?”
“Oh! Polka dots. Lots of them! Oh! And I want neon green and pink… Actually, instead of polka dots, can you make it look like a lava lamp? And zoo animals and horses running all over the walls? Jere said that you could hook up sound and lights too.”
“Uh… lets just stick with the dots for now, ok?”
“ok…..{{sniff}}”
I figured that this room might not be as bad as the other ones after all. That was until Reet brought up the idea of creating a desk with bookshelves for her that would attach to the wall. Hanging my head in despair, I knew what this would mean.
Home Depot, here we come.
“Hey Reet, welcome back! We saved your favorite shopping cart for ya! Ready for your next big project??” –man, how I want to slug those creeps. However, an interesting side note was that later that night I had noticed that they had a reason to be happy to see her. 
If you look at this stock market ticker, you can see when Reet started to visit them regularly. (can you spot it??)
Well, anyhow, we began our work in earnest. The first step would be to clean her room out. Sounds simple enough, maybe get a bag or two of garbage out while we're at it, right?
Not quite. Here you can see
the final truck load being emptied from her room. I guess when EPA shows up, then you really do have a messy bedroom. One good thing did come out of cleaning up her room, though: we found out that her walls were painted pink, and she actually had 4 walls. (we could never really tell before)
After more blood, sweat, tears, and a few trips to Belleview mental facility, I,... er i mean "we" completed her room. Along with bookcases, desk and assorted other things. So I sat back grabbed a fifth, and hid in my closet for several days, sucking my thumb. Fortunately, the nightmare is over and I can go back to my normal day to day activities, like groaning about how much I love work and such. However I still do suffer a slight twitch in my left eye each time the love of my life (Uh, that's Reet, in case you were wondering..) looks around and says: "Hmm, you know what? I've got an idea.."
